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Anti-Boredom Activities

Some of the texts here may be a bit outdated - but they will still allow for a good laugh!

Warning! - Most of these may be illegal or harmful to your health if caught!

Summary : 44 things to do when you're bored.

Written By Shooting Shark.

Preface : Everyone's putting out these files, right? So, I thought I
might as well release one, since I generally like to write t-files.

Phone Stuff

  • Call a sweep tone or similar obnoxious number, then call people at
    random with three-way.
  • Call some hacker friends and tell them to call you back in an hour,
    because you think you're going to be busted. Forward your calls to
    the police department.
  • Call Kentucky Fried Chicken and ask "Do you have extra crispy
  • Look up "Mary Stewart" or something in the phone book. Call this
    number and ask for Mary. If they say "she's not here", yell "Well
    where the hell IS that bitch?"
  • Ask to use your neighbor's phone. Call 911 and put the phone down.

Sibling Meanness

  • If you have at least two (younger) brothers or sisters, wait until
    they go to bed, then move them to each other's beds.
  • If you have just one little brother or sister, put s/he in the

Mall Shit

Drive down to your local mall and...

  • Stroll into a Radio Shack. Walk up to a Color Computer and enter:

    10 CLS
    20 FOR P = 1 TO 30000 : NEXT P
    30 S = INT(255 * RND(1)) + 1
    40 SOUND (S,50)

    turn the volume ALL the way up (if the tv is hooked up to an
    amplifier, all the better) and leave the store...

  • Go into a toy or hobby store and ask to demo a nice powerful
    remote-control car. Stand at the entrance of the hobby store and ram
    the car into shoppers.
  • At the same store, play with one of those robots where whatever you
    say into the handset is echoed through the robot's speaker. Hide
    somewhere within the store and position the robot at the front of the
    store. Proposition women who walk by.
  • Still at the mall, light off an M-80 and yell "Look out, he's got a
  • Go up to some payfones. Place a collect call to the fone next to
  • Go into a Fredrick's or other large lingerie store. Pretend you're
    looking for something to buy for your girlfriend. Pick up a pair of
    crotchless panties (or a similar item) and ask them to model it for
  • Have them model stuff all night, or until they catch on that you're
    not going to buy anything.
  • Bring a porno movie. Go into Video Concepts and play it on the 40"
    projection TV that's in front of the store.
  • Go to Mrs. Field's Cookies, buy a dozen large, flat cookies. Go back
    to Video Concepts and put them in the CD players.
  • Go to Macy's, or Emporium Capwells, etc. and knock the lingerie off
    the manequins. On the female mannequins that are completely dressed,
    open the blouses to the waists.
  • Go to Brennan's or Matthew's and ask the salesmen if they know they
    have 200 watt amps hooked up to 100 watt capacity speakers.
  • Bring some condoms (fresh or used) and casually drop them into
    shopper's bags. Or, leaving them on the floor is fine.
  • Stand around a part of the mall where a lot of people walk by. Tell
    them "Your sock's untied."

  • Go to the mall's pet store. Put powdered jello in the fish tanks.
  • Go to B. Dalton or Waldenbooks. Pick up some issues of Penthouse.
    Relocate them among the children's books.
  • Bring some crutches. Take off your shoe. Walk around with the
    crutches, keeping your leg stiff. Make someone think they bumped
    into you. Fall over and scream in pain.
  • Go to the cutlery store and ask them if they have 4-foot ninja
  • Make up some signs that say "Please Use Other Door" and put them
  • Bring your own blank price tags and a pen...

Other Stuff

  • Get or make some fake explosives (red tubes tied to an alarm clock,
    with some assorted wires sticking out, or a fake grenade will do) and
    drive down to a 7-11. Run into the store, say "Here, catch!" to the clerk.
    Throw them the fake bomb and run out of the store quickly.
  • Go through the Burger King drive-through. Order about twenty dollars
    worth of Whoppers, Fries, Drinks, etc. When she says "will that be
    all for you?", say "oh yeah, I'd like some Chicken McNuggets,
    too...". When she says "I'm sorry, we don't have those..." etc, tell
    her to forget it and drive off.
  • Get a suction dart gun. Shoot darts at your cat.
  • Shoot darts at the TV.
  • Get your dad's staple gun out of the garage. Take it down to Safeway
    and put staples in the bread.
  • Put yellow dye in the swimming pool. Chocolate syrup is also
  • Slap "KKK and Proud" bumber stickers on your niebhor's cars.
  • If your neibhor has a "Le Car", pop a tire and write "Le Flat" above
  • Grab a can of metallic purple spray paint and go at your neibhor's
    citrus tree.
  • Go down to Main Street. Bring some chalk and draw sillouettes of
    on the sidewalk. A little fake blood can be added for realism. Draw
    a sillouette of a gun.
  • Buy some Wondra hand lotion (which is off-white) and put it on
    doorknobs, gas pump handles, etc.
  • Walk to your local gas station late at night. Re-arrange the metal
    numbers on the price signs.
  • Go to a church and rearrange the letters on the marquee. Remember
    that GOD anagrams into DOG. If there is a sign saying "Christmas
    Dinner" take out the "m".
  • Make a water-based dye. Paint your dog polka-dotted. (Don't do this
    to your cat because he will lick off the dye and get very sick. Save
    this for your neibhor's cat.)
  • Use a little bleach and give your dog some vertical stripes.

  • Go out to the country and push cows over. (This is really fun.)
  • Throw a rubber 4-square ball off a freeway overpass.

That's It!

Written 23 March 1986 By Shooting Shark.  Remember that name...

  Distributed in part by:

   Skeleton Crue  415-XXX-XXXX  located out of Moraga, California.
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The very LAST bastion of Abusive Thought in all of the Suburbian West Coast...

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